


Not Your Fault But Mine

by Synnerxx



Series: Snapshots [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: John is better off this way.





	Not Your Fault But Mine

Fin picks up his coat from the back of his chair and nods to Olivia and Elliot. "See you guys tomorrow."

John looks up from the file he's reading. "You're leaving early."

"No, I'm leaving on time. You've got the rest of the report covered, right?" Fin asks, shrugging the coat on.

"Yes. Why? You got a hot date?" John arches an eyebrow, the light glinting off of his glasses.

"As a matter of fact, I do and I don't want to keep her waiting." Fin smirks and then heads out of the squad room, nodding at Olivia and Elliot as they call out their goodbyes.

John very carefully doesn't react to the news that Fin has a date and finishes up the report he'd been writing up. He gathers all the files and returns them to their proper place in the folder and then hands it to the captain to sign off on. He heads back to his desk, glances over his files, and picks up his own coat.

Olivia and Elliot look up at him as he goes past, silent as a shadow in his dark suit and coat and they hesitate on saying anything to him. He glances at them and nods and they nod back before going back to their own work.

John allows himself a deep breath when he gets out side, the cold New York air filling his lungs and making him shiver slightly. He walks quickly and gets home to his apartment faster than usual.

He tugs his coat off and hangs it on the hook by the door and heads into the kitchen. He pours himself a glass of Scotch and sits down on his couch, staring out of the window. 

He knows that it's supposed to be nothing more than sex between them, nothing more than release, something to relieve the stress of the job when it gets to be too much, but John does what he always has. He's gotten too attached and now he's getting hurt all over again.

It's not even Fin's fault because Fin doesn't know what a mess John's made of all of this. 

John thinks that if he were braver, he'd tell Fin how he feels or at least break off their arrangement, but he can't do that because he's not that brave. 

So now he'll sit here in his empty, lonely apartment with only a glass of Scotch for company while Fin goes out with his date. He'll sit here and be bitter and old and lonely and hurt because he's too damn scared of his own feelings to just say something to Fin. 

No wonder his wives left him. 

Maybe it's better that he's alone. At least this way he's not hurting anyone but himself here. Fin doesn't deserve to have to deal with the mess that is John Munch anyway. No one does. 

It's better this way. At least that's what he's going to tell himself as he sits alone and lonely.


End file.
